A day in the life of.....

Sports

2009-09-01T12:34:00.001-07:00

I am curious, why do we love sports so much? I have many reasons for loving sports, but, it is different as an adult rather than a kid. As a kid, I looked up to a lot of players, especially in basketball. Sports wasn't only something I played after school, it was a dream to think someday I could be someone like Larry Bird or Steve Young. I have been on "vacation" now for about 3 weeks and watching a lot of ESPN, following football news and watching baseball as well. As much as I still love sports, It is more of a pleasant distraction and hobby to everyday life. I don't really "like" any of the players like I used to, too much thuggery, crime, cheating, money chasing pricks to feel like I can relate to them. I still love following sports, mostly football on both levels and watching ESPN. Sometimes I feel like I could completely drop it and not miss it that much (I didn't watch too many games last year because of being abroad). I have found in my return though, that sports provides a form of comfort that is completely different than it was when I was a kid and is always fun to watch and enjoy, none the less.

I'm not mad...I'm just disappointed.

2009-03-16T11:00:00.000-07:00

So, I broke the silence - heres the email

Hello. So I see you followed your dreams right to Denver. Ill leave my comments on that out for now since I am halfway across the planet. I want you to know it took quite a bit for me to message you, because my first few months here I had a lot of time to think about everything. I am glad you arent in Eugene. Come on, we both knew that Eugene was not the place for you. Although I will never come to terms with your actions and philosophical views on life... after the fact.. (because I was with you every step of the way post-meltdown) I still think of the things we experienced as a positive. I feel like I lead a deeper and better life to this day because of the time we shared. I strongly doubt our eventual reconciliation, as I can honestly say to this day I can never trust the way you would want, but, I do miss you. And as I have gained friendships, however strong they may be, lack, because you arent involved...maybe you are, in certain ways...but not like I thought, not like I would want it. I wonder sometimes, at night, if you ever think of me. Although, those nights have been few and far between as time goes by. When we finally parted ways, around what, thanksgiving, 2007, via email...its been a constant battle for me to build on the positive of those days. Sometimes, I wonder if it will ever be as good again, for me. Sure, I'll see the world, I will be just as educated as you, maybe not as gracefully, but I will have a masters just two years after you, but I am taking a path none ever would have though of me, and I did it my way, without compromise. I still listen to Dave, Eddie, Glen...I am sure by now you have heard disappointed. Makes me think of you every time. I remember one of the last things you said to me, that you had been crying, over our conversation the previous day...makes me a bit disappointed. I wrote a blog about you, saying I would never write something about you or to you again, but then I realized, everyday I breath and live the way I do, is because of you. Love you doll. Youll be with me forever and most of all, I forgive you. As hard as it is, for whatever it means for you. I'm sorry its taken this long. Much love from Asia.

Tom.

Life, after death

2009-01-20T09:21:00.000-08:00

My uncle died today. After a short, but long fight with cancer (because what fight with cancer can actually be short) he passed away. In times like these, it is hard to see the good in situations such as these, but the very least, he isnt in pain anymore. It's always sad to lose a loved one, in any capacity, be it death or otherwise, but after death, it is always good not only to mourn, but to rejoice in the good times you shared with the person. I know that its easy to fall into the trap of guilt, thinking you didnt spend enough time together, or, thinking something could have been done to prevent this tragedy, but try to think of the other side, the times that were shared. I remember Jeff always wanting to talk sports and ready to go to any game he could go to. I remeber coming back from duck games and ems games when I was little, it was fun. I attended my first and only NFL game with Jeff, in Seattle, We saw Joe Montana and the Chiefs lose to the Hawks, 16-12 if I remember right. We went to some Mariner games together and those were always a real treat. Later in our lives, we talked via email and we usually went to the high school basketball playoffs at mac court. I am glad we got to go to safeco field last august together and I am certainly glad Jeff was able to get season tickets to the blazers before he passed away. Youll be missed Jeff, thanks for all the good times. With Love, Tom

The Sports World

2008-12-06T02:15:00.000-08:00

Everyday, I become more and more disgusted with the sports world, especially in the professional ranks. You have half the players in the NBA talking about where they will be playing in 2011, after they become free agents in 2010. Lebron James seems to bring it up almost everyday now. Why cant he just play and not wonder about the all mighty dollar, doesnt he have enough money so far in his very young career that he doesnt have to think of his next contract? He isnt the only guilty party. Steve Nash, Dwane Wade and others have also speculated on their future destination of employment. When I was a huge NBA fan in the 90's, I never remembered guys talking about when their contracts will end and where they will be playing in two years. After watching a few NBA games this year, it is safe to say that the quality of basketball being played now compared to 10-15 years ago, is very poor. This is all piled on top of the point shaving scandle that was so successfully swept under the rub by the NBA. What about Major League baseball? You have guys like AROD, who OPT out of their deal of more than 200 million dollars, to resign with the same team for 300 or so million, then strike out, not only on the field, but in the public eye as well, off the field. Obviously, I am refering to his antics of cheating on his wife; following a 50 year old worn out Madonna to some religious fringe group. Not to mention the Barry Bonds saga and the black eye of steroids. Finally, you have the NFL, where players like Plaxico Buress are shooting themselves in the leg, players getting suspended for breaking the substance abuse rules of the NFL. The NFL has also had major problems in officiating department this year as well. It seems every week, there is a story reported about how a ref somehow botched a call and changed the outcome of a game or the spread, which bettors care about, big time. The NFL talks about extending the season, ok, well, to me that is dumb. You have a perfect length of a season right now, if anything, it is too long. Superstar players are getting injured on a week to week basis. Plus, a longer season increases the incentive for players to use steroids or other performence enhancers. Honestly, I think the glory days of sports are offcially gone. I still love the NFL, but I could do with or without MLB and NBA. Dont even get me started on the college ranks.

The Sheild Comes to a close.

2008-11-27T04:30:00.000-08:00

After 6 Years and 7 seasons, Vic Mackey and the Strike team are finally finished on the streets of Farmington. If you dont know what I am talking about, I am referring to the FX show, The Shield. This final season has been a roller coaster of unreal twists and turns, but in my opinion, it was the second best season. Season two was my favorite. This season has shown Vic on top of his game, but the ending left a bitter taste in my mouth. For those of you who watch the show, I think it woul dhave been awesome if Andre 5000 told Tina that Acevada was the one who shot him. After the exchange at the townhall, it could have been possible. I also hate that Dutch and Cludette came out "on top" so to speak, their sanctamonious ways are just so annoying. They should have had Dutch at least have been killed or have him kill that kid. When he arrested Ronnie, he just seemed too glad and judgmental. That annoyed me. This whole show was about Vic coming out on top, obviously after he crossed Ronnie, his family bounced and his job being ripped from him, he didnt come out on top. I would have been thrilled if Vic would have played the "I got full immunity from ICE" card on Shane before he actually confessed it all, maybe Shane buys it. The Vic and Ronnie could have worked with ICE. Dont get me wrong, the Shield is still my favorite all time show, I am just a little bitter about how it ended, it didnt stay true to the actual show. Dutch and Cludette should have been the ones that were made to shock, with some sort of death/wrong doing. Vic could have lost his family and had Shane and his families death on his conscience. It would have stayed true to seven seasons of writing and gave the viewer satisfaction.

Its a birthday, anyway!

2008-11-17T05:32:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it, 30. Sometimes, its really hard for me to believe. I used to remember at Christmas time "I will be this age next year" or, when I was young, I would always think to myself what it would be like to be 30, I dont think I ever thought I would be living in Korea. I suppose on the list of eventfulness, this birthday ranks pretty low. I went to work and came home. Looking back on my past three birthdays (thats as far back as I can recall) 2005 was by far the best. It started hanging out with a good friend, then later, 9 others, including one special someone, joined at Ring of Fire for dinner. After that, we all joined up back at Birch for a prefunking, and then ended up at RockNRodeo. Pretty fun for a night in Eugene. Come to think of it, that whole weekend, thursday-sunday was filled with awesome adventure. The next day, Joel, Drew and I went to Track town pizza for dinner, won some stuff, drank widmer and got passes to the Widmer tent for the Civil War game the next day. On saturday we had a civil war brunch that druw and I put together, with Mamosas and everything breakfasty you could think of. We walked to the game and went to the widmer tent around 1030. We drank a few beers in about 15 degree weather, then at halftime of the game ran into some friends and headed over to the NW natural gas tent and closed it. On sunday, Drew joel and I wanted some NFL ball and relaxed. After that we went to the library to try and do some work, but we just kept talking about the past few days.
In 06, It was a bit different, I had a GF who I thought was in love with me, and had about 4 straight days of birthday activities....which honestly, I cant recall what all was done, but I remember it was pretty fun. 07 I spent in Cabarete with my fellow dream staff, didnt do much, the rain was coming down in buckets. and that brings us back to 08. So, I dont have anything too profound to say about this day, or this milestone, thankfully, but I will say I am glad to be around and that says something.

Presidential Election

2008-11-09T04:01:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, let me say, I am glad it is over. Obama was elected, so lets hope he can implement the "Change we need" Honestly, I expected him to win. His Campaign was well run and he had more money than God. What I dont understand at this point, is a lot of the Obama supporters arent only happy that they won, they feel they must revel in the demise of Mccain and Palin. Commentators like Olbermann and Marrow have been absolutely loving the fact that only McCain lost, but looked bad doing it. They fail to mention that while Obama preaches change, he hires Washington lifers to his campaign like Biden and Emanuel. Other supporters aren't happy that they won the electoral vote by 2-1, one supporter told me she wished the whole country had gone blue. I sincerely wonder if she even understand what freedom is. Another Obamian told me that my commentary about Obama winning made me a sore loser. I asked him what I had lost, and pointed out to him that Obama asked for his doubters support during his post victory speech. His reply to me was simply thanking me for making his point. I Told him I guess since I wasnt an Obama supporter during the election, I must not be welcome in the USA anymore? I wonder what he would have done had I told he he wasnt welcome because he didnt support Bush.

The point I am trying to make is that Obama supporters think Obama has all the right answers and he is going to save the little guy in the country and around the globe. Who are they kidding? Obama is just another politician, I am almost certain he will do better than Bush, but until this country has a President who is flexible to both sides of the political agenda, we will be a country divided. The last eight years proved that. I dont think you will hear as much about it, because conservatives tend to be a little more toned down when it comes to griping about the state of the union, besides Rush Limbaugh of course. I hope Obama can do a lot of the things he says he can do, repair the economic state, bind strained relations with foreign countries and lower the defense budget, to name a few. I am skeptical about President Elect Obama, but I am willing to give him his due and see if he can turn the ship in a better course. Obama supporters should be happy he won, but reign it in a bit. Good luck to the Obama administration.

Thanks Mom and Dad!

2008-11-04T04:29:00.000-08:00

Hey, I want to sincerely thank you guys for letting me crash at your house while I got things worked out for Korea. It really allowed me to relax and feel at home before I left on this journey. I hope that the tile that was broken gets fixed easily, I really hate when that kind of stuff happens while I am taking care of the place. I like to make sure everything is taken care of and clean and in working order. I hope that you guys have a good time in Florida! Come visit me in Korea!

Love you guys!

Tom

Saying goodbye

2008-11-04T04:08:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about you lately, I am not sure how exactly. I still am completely shocked and disappointed in your actions almost two years ago now, but as time passes, I am able to think more kindly about our time together. There is this song, I know you know it..."He caught lightning in a bottle, cursed the day he let it go." I guess thats kind of how I feel, although, It was kind of taken from me rather than me letting it go. I dont really know how to think of our time together at this point, or how I feel about you, because you let me down so badly, but I know that you opened my mind and heart in ways I could have never imagined, and for that, I thank you. You know, she who forgets, is destined to remember. I still remember times and moments we have that I doubt I will ever forget, I can still feel them, in my heart and in my soul, like they had just happened. It really pains me to think that you are out there somewhere and we cannot communicate. I still miss you from time to time, sometimes I look over my shoulder just to remind myself that you arent around, but a lot of the time, I hoped you were.

In the words of Pablo Neruda, "I no longer love her, that it is for certain, but maybe I love her...though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer, and these be the last verses that I write for her."

Apathy

2008-08-19T23:35:00.000-07:00

I sit, staring at the red brake lights, as an unfamiliar song plays, only because I am not really listening to it. Its midnight, I have just graduated, excitement has turned to contempt, contempt for the next stage and for the past that is so easily ridiculed. I continue to drive, trying to think about how I am going to write this later, as I think about the past few years and how it has all lead to this day, wondering about friends past and events forthcoming that just may not, well, ever come. I look at some photos, snapshots of greatness without a back story because of a past marred by resentment and mistake. Time may not be powerful enough to clear the way for these memories. Life is a continuing game, like a sport with no clock and the only objective is there really is no objective. You create as you go and if one opportunity falls, you must create more, to consume your time and your thoughts, or, be left bored and curious about a past that could have been or a present stuck in the proverbial mud. So as this blog comes to a close, I reflect upon those who have gone and look for a pillow to rest my weary head on.

Come with me tonight...

2008-05-04T01:42:00.000-07:00

I watch too many bad movies these days.

I havent wrote something like this for a long time, I feel now a days it is too hard to put my feelings down on paper for many reasons; being busy with school or not in the mood, but the main reason I think is no one really likes to read about life's shortcomings or downtimes.
I have been thinking a lot lately about not only the future, but the past as well. Its hard to explain about the things I have been thinking because sometimes I cant even get myself to really grasp what I am thinking. I feel that I am caught in a place that I cant get out of. Not only does it have to do with myself and how I act and feel these days, but the past and people who I have cared deeply for have fallen by the wayside. What about the times and opportunities missed that cannot be regained? There is a quote from a song I love that, more and more I think applies to me... "I never learned to count my blessings, instead I choose to dwell in my own disasters" So, as I head to bed tonight, I ask myself these questions; how is the past going to effect my future? What is in store for my future? And... Is happiness a state of mind, or is it a state of being?