Come with me tonight...

I watch too many bad movies these days.

I havent wrote something like this for a long time, I feel now a days it is too hard to put my feelings down on paper for many reasons; being busy with school or not in the mood, but the main reason I think is no one really likes to read about life's shortcomings or downtimes.
I have been thinking a lot lately about not only the future, but the past as well. Its hard to explain about the things I have been thinking because sometimes I cant even get myself to really grasp what I am thinking. I feel that I am caught in a place that I cant get out of. Not only does it have to do with myself and how I act and feel these days, but the past and people who I have cared deeply for have fallen by the wayside. What about the times and opportunities missed that cannot be regained? There is a quote from a song I love that, more and more I think applies to me... "I never learned to count my blessings, instead I choose to dwell in my own disasters" So, as I head to bed tonight, I ask myself these questions; how is the past going to effect my future? What is in store for my future? And... Is happiness a state of mind, or is it a state of being?